Screwed

"Babe, I want to follow you tonight,"
"Okay sayang, if you say so."

Shakir lit up his cigarette. Tonight would be his 12th time taking part in an illegal race. A jackpot of RM5000. Winner takes all. He doesn't really care about the jackpot though. To him, illegal racing is just for the adrenaline rush and a way to remember his dad who had died in a car crash when he was 11. An insane method to pay tribute to someone, but he couldn't care less about his life.

Someone he does care about is his girlfriend, Syazwin. The one who has always been by his side through his ups and downs, perpetual delusions and constant nightmares. The only one who actually cares about his life, since his mother somehow just vanished from his life 10 years ago, never knowing what happened to her. His mother never really showed much compassion to him after his dad passed away, she was always by the window, gazing at the sky as if hoping that her husband would miraculously come down from the heavens above.

The only theory he could think of is that his mother abandoned him, not being able to bear the weight of taking care of a 13-year-old, damaged teenager alone. There he was, a lonely teenager who was taken in by his uncle and aunt, and they did so just to get the extra cash from the government for taking him in.

Albeit his depressing past, career-wise, Shakir has been doing pretty well. A few years back he took part in a local amateur racing tournament and won the cup. A motorsports company scouted him and offered him a pretty decent contract. Racing illegally is just another method for him to relief himself from all the bad nightmares of his past that has been haunting him his whole life.

---

Shakir stepped on the gas the second the light turned green. His girlfriend was riding shotgun, shouting in excitement as they sped through the dark road, overtaking his opponents with ease. They were leading comfortably after 5 minutes in and another 3 km to go. A sharp turn was ahead of them and Shakir decided to accelerate through it, thinking he'll make it through with an unbeatable record time but he miscalculated his speed and the sharpness of the turn which caused his car to skid violently. He tried to control his car, his girlfriend's excitement immediately turned into high-pitched screams for dear life. The car rammed into a tree at a speed that would render most drivers and front passengers to bits of flesh.

---

Shakir's eyes opened slowly, trying to adjust his eyes with the brightness of the room. He then postured himself in a sitting position with surprising ease. He looked around and realized that he was in a hospital bed. His body was physically wrecked, bruises and wounds all over his body but he did not feel any sort of agonizing pain. "It must be the painkiller," he whispered to himself. Suddenly, he remembered everything that had happened that night and his stomach turned as he thought about Syazwin. He quickly got up from his bed to hopefully find her somewhere but before he could leave the room, his mother, out of all the people in the world, entered his room.

After all these years, she suddenly decided to show up, Shakir felt a surge of anger quickly building inside him. Her face was full of guilt. She also didn't seem to age much in the past 10 years.

"Hi Shakir, it's been a while," His mother said.

"Why.. How.. WHY ARE YOU HERE?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"I'm sorry... I know I've been away-"

"10 YEARS! WHY NOW?!"

"I was drunk that day and I made a terrible mistake... I followed some bad people and-"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT YOU DID, YOU LEFT ME JUST LIKE THAT!"

"As soon as I heard about the car crash, I immediately tried to be here for you..."

"Oh god, where's Syazwin?!"

"The girl who was sitting next to you in the car? She's not here and... she's not around dear..."

"Oh god, no please no, oh my god I just killed her, I... She would've been alive if.... if I hadn't let her follow me to that stupid race..."

Hot torrents of grief coursed down his face, his violent sobs robbing him of his ability to breathe properly.

Suddenly, the door of his room was knocked on and a figure came in. Shakir clung on to hope that it was his girlfriend, his Syazwin who had knocked on the door.

It was his dad.

"But son," his mother said, "she did survive..."